It’s a beauty, eh? Before now I’ve never considered myself an accident-prone person as I’ve never broken a bone. However, after this recent injury, I’ve noticed a pattern that leads me to question my non-accident prone status. Let me illustrate with a few memories…
Age 6: (Plastic toy to face) Just about knocked out both of my own front baby teeth with a plastic snow thrower. Didn’t quite get them out so dentist had to finish them off for me. That Christmas, I really did want my two front teeth
Age 10: (Knee to face) Waiting for dad to pick me up after soccer practice. Practicing drop kicks to my friends… decided to go for ultimate, far, pro-length drop kick to impress my teammates. Instead mastered the ultimate bloody nose. Yes, I knee’d myself in the face. Still impressive.
Age 11: (Head to table) 5th grade, fainted and slammed my head against a table. That time was fun. Mom took me to the ER where I got a CAT scan to see if I had a concussion. I didn’t… but I sure had some awesome headaches for a few days.
Age 12: (Hammer to Head) Moving a tall ladder in the basement. Didn’t realize a hammer was on top. Tilted the ladder towards me while picking it up… enough said.
Age 14: (Metal bar to face) Girls camp. Spending the day at a Scout camp doing ropes courses. After successfully completing a particularly challenging course high above ground, I was waiting on a platform to zip line down to safety. The young scout friend who was helping out, decided to swing the harness to me with a quite a bit of extra gusto. (Trying to impress me with his strength I’m sure.) Although I was ready to catch it, the heavy metal bar came towards me far too fast for me to stop it with my hands, so my face received the extra force. To this day, whenever I see this kid he apologizes for giving me BLACK EYE #1.
Age 23: In California with bf’s family, playing volleyball. Just as in “Meet the Parents,” the movie, the bf’s sister’s bf spikes the ball, hard, right into (you guessed it) my FACE.
Age 24: (Knee to face) Nov 2010. Snowboarding with roommate. Her knee becomes well acquainted with my chin while gracefully getting off lift. Ooh, there's pictures of this one too...
<---My chin
Her Knee ---->
From the looks of it, it seems my head won this battle...
-------And last but not least… the recent fiasco and resulting BLACK EYE #2. K, we’re gonna have some fun with this one…. A choose-your-own-ending of sorts. Nope! I’m not actually going to tell you which one is real. You get to choose your favorite.
A. So, I was at work, doin’ my thing, when my patient became
nervous and frightened, and then quite combative.
While trying to get out of the dental chair, his flailing arm
collided with my face sending my loupes (my special magnifying
dental glasses) hard into my face.
B. So, I was on a date. I was trying to really impress this guy so I did
a front flip while simultaneously kicking myself in the face.
C. So, I ran into my ex-boyfriend with his fiancé. Seems she didn’t
appreciate my remark about their rebound relationship
and speedy engagement. Funny how those elbows can
be so hard to control sometimes…
(Hint: Choose the one that best resembles my past experiences and you’ll probably be right on… i.e. SELF-inflicted ridiculousness…) Yep… THAT one. Ok, so I guess you wouldn't call it "kicking" myself as my knee was the actual culprit.
Ok, now that you have a nice mental image of me kneeing myself in the face, let’s talk about WHY I GET HIT IN THE HEAD SO OFTEN???
While this is only my second black eye, as you can see it is NOT my first or even second head injury. Seriously, I can’t think of any other injury in my life that didn’t involve my head. And these are just the ones I can think of right now. Who knows, maybe there’s a lot of my life I can’t remember seeing as how’s it’s a definite possibility one of these head traumas has caused BRAIN damage!
It remains a mystery to me as to why hard objects are so attracted to my noggin. Perhaps we will never know. I think I will start wearing a helmet.... everywhere. That is hotttttt.
4 comments:
oh my heck I am NOT talented at this blogging stuff. Notice how there are 3 different fonts used here?!... and The words are running off the page... weird. Yea, don't worry about it... it's fine.
Colette this post was awesome! It made me reminisce about all those times I kneed myself in the face too... I knew it couldn't be the last option you wrote about running into an ex and fiancée because you are too sweet to say something like that.
Yay! My knee made it on your blog! I feel so famous!
Loved it! It made me miss seeing your smiling face. From living with you I can't really remember you cracking your skull on any specific occasion but let me think about that further.
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